would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
