i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
