If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
