the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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