my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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