I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
