Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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