im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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