You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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