she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
