Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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