so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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