i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
