So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
