I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
