SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
