I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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