She said her name was "party"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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