I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
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One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
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My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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