tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
