you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize