Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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