every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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