I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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