Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
