Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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