he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Ladies don't puke and tell
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
