ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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