found the other keg... it's in the tree
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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