he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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