I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
