Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
