apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
