Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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