I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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