Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
