does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
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its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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