I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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