I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So many bounce houses so little time
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From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize