I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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