The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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