Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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