I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize