Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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