Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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