Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
