it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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