I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
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these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
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You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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