Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
