need another drink. this is the easiest way
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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