My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
