you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
