In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The feeling are messing with the penis
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
