Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
