my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
