I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
