i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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