And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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