It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
