i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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