My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
