So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
