dude i'm inner monologue high
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
