Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm at about main and main street
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
