I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
