Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
