And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
