I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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