what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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