I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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