somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
