and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
