Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
