Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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