sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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