i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
